hi again

hello my friends!!

it's been a little over a year since I've last updated this blog. I hope this year has been kind to you! I think at some point I had claimed that I'd update the blog on a weekly basis. while I did not follow through with that claim, I do anticipate that I'll continue to overpromise and underdeliver as this seems to be a core trait of mine. please continue to keep your expectations low as I have a life and do many different things that require my attention. I can't always give the people what they need (thorough and unbiased snack reviews) but I will continue to try, dear reader.

Basco, who is sporting a new haircut for the winter, is still doing well thank u for asking

anyway! the most relevant change that will affect this blog is I'm now... vegetarian! bordering on vegan kinda! the sense of moral superiority I developed from the diet didn't make up for how cranky and hateful it made me feel. kudos to all of the humble vegans out there, it's really difficult to shut the h*ck up while also following through with how much of a lifestyle change it is. my biggest struggle was feeling annoying while going out to eat/eating at peoples' homes/not being able to eat my mom's food/etc. also no more cheesy powdered snacks? awful. I try to practice veganism in my personal life as much as possible but I feel my diet has become much more ~flexible and I don't worry about it as much.

I know what you're thinking..........I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR DIET OR LIFESTYLE CHOICES!!! I definitely agree with you and I'm going to stop talking about it now. mostly, though, there won't be any meat-related product reviews (rip chicken strips). does anyone care? idk probably not.

so! cool. I have additional exciting news that I can't talk about just yet, but it'll leak into this blog and hopefully it'll expand into more mediums and idk whatever else I feel like doing. I'm also going to be changing the look of the website! and also obviously adding more reviews! woooo0000000oooo0o0oo stay tuned !!!

xoxoxoxo,
daphne

zapp's new orleans style potato chips: voodoo heat

hey!! ok this review is going to be pretty short and not very good because I spent all day travelling and my brain feels like mushed peas. I didn't forget about y'all, though! I have a bunch of good pilipinx snacks queued up for review that I'm excited to talk about more but for now, here's this.

I was at the airport with my mom and we had some downtime before our flight left so we went to an airport potbelly sandwich shop. this isn't a restaurant review blog (although it could be because like I said I can do whatever I want!!!) so I won't get too far into my potbelly experience (it was fine) but while I was in the line about to check out these chips caught my eye...

I didn't take this photo

this packaging was too good to pass up and I was so curious about what ~voodoo heat~ meant. also heads up I lost my iphone a while ago and had to get an android and it takes really awful blurry potato photos. the image quality of this blog is going to suffer for a while but I'm optimistic that I will eventually get a new phone with a better camera. if this story touched you at all please send me money so I can buy this new phone.

maybe this review isn't actually going to be short lol. here's the review

chip ft. my mom. she is eating the plain salted flavor which tasted like normal chips

• smell: a strong top note of vinegar with a subtle background of bbq scent?
• texture: this was a good textured chip. thick like a kettle chip should be but not too thick, a good crunch, not too greasy
• cost: ~$3? idk my mom bought them for me (thanks mom!!!). keep in mind I was at an airport so I'd imagine they are usually cheaper in stores
• 🍥🍥/5 fishcakes
• final thoughts: ok I feel kind of controversial with this 2 fishcake rating because I've googled around and it seems like zapp's chips are very loved in the louisiana/southern US area. I was in detroit so maybe that gives me the right to not feel as bad but I didn't like these chips. they taste like a spicy sweet salt n vinegar chip? like a mix of barbeque and pickles and salt n vinegar. I don't like it. it wasn't too spicy as I could finish the bag with ease. I don't know? this was an enjoyable snack because of how mysterious the experience was but I would not buy these chips again. I'm curious about the voodoo flavor sans heat -- maybe I'd prefer those. also to be honest I did finish the entire bag so something to consider.

m&m's caramel

hey friends!! long time no see! I was busy minding my own business and didn't update this blog for a while but I'm back so here's a review for you. I'm going to be updating this blog more regularly... ideally I'll have a new review posted for you each week but we'll see how I feel so no promises. I've updated the about me section and am working on compiling a big ass list in the snack hall of fame. I have it partially completed so feel free to check that out while you're here. 

m&m equivalent of quartering

alright y'all to be honest with you I ate these m&m's a while ago but I saved these pictures for later. I'm just gonna say off the bat I'm not that into m&m's. in terms of chocolate candy, they're not my first choice and I would probably never buy them on my own. usually if I encounter an m&m, it's in some kind of candy gift packaging. when I eat m&m's I like to put as many of them into my mouth at one time because it feels cool. this also applies to reese's pieces but I don't seek them out unless I'm really desperate for some sweets and it's my only option.

is m&m owned by nestle? hang on I'm gonna google it. oh it's owned by mars nevermind. anyway the people that make m&m's have been coming out with a bunch of new flavor options which I am into. there's the classic peanut, but the newer ones I've seen are the crunchy, pretzel (which I love), almond, and now this caramel one. 

ok isn't it problematiqué that on the package the two m&m's dudes are ripping open this m&m and spilling its innards so you can see the caramel?

??????????????????

I checked the m&m website to look at the flavors and also found this picture. like???? I don't know I just don't want to think about torture when I eat snacks.

sorry this is so long ok here's my final verdict ....

caramel innard

• smell: smells like a normal m&m. kind of sweet, chocolatey, idfk. I don't get any whiff of caramel from smelling the m&m.
• texture: I feel mixed about the texture. I'm not a huge fan of chewy caramels because they get stuck in my teeth. it was satisfying to bite through the candy shell and into the soft caramel, but after the first couple of m&m's I started to feel that caramel sticky teeth feeling.
• cost: ~$2
• 🍥🍥🍥/5 fishcakes
• final thoughts: I feel like I'm biased because I don't really like m&m's in the first place but I don't know that I would purchase these again. I definitely think that if you're even a little curious you should try them out because I found that the snack experience overall was pretty exciting. it's just not something I would consider one of my favs.

hershey's cookie layer crunch

hey friends! I'm pretty hungover right now so I'm not feeling as punchy as I usually am but I do have some thoughts for you about this hershey's cookie layer crunch bar I just ate.

crunchy

last night I stopped by walgreens before going out with some friends and was looking for some going out snacks. I purchased some gardettos and these "mac and cheese" flavored cheese puffs that were on sale, but they were gross and boring so I'm not going to waste your time by writing a review about them. I think they were stale too!!! they were only $.89 but I'm kind of pissed that I bought them because it was a waste of a good snack opportunity. I gave them to some friends to sample and we had a general consensus of a 2/5 rating. also the only "mac and cheese" thing about them were that the puffs were shaped like noodles and they were cheese flavored? useless. anyway while I was in the checkout line, my roommate pointed out this lil chocolate bar and it sounded good so I bought it.

I brought the bag of gardettos with me while I was out and I didn't close the bag well enough because they spilled all over and now my wallet and purse and other belongings are gardetto seasoned. :-( :-(

sorry, I feel like this backstory doesn't really matter. today I was cleaning out those wayward gardettos from my bag and I forgot I bought this so I was very pleased when I stumbled upon it!

naked crunch bar ft. basco

crisp

• smell: it smells like a hershey's chocolate bar. not getting any additional smells from the layers in the bar
• texture: I've mentioned this before but I'm a big fan of take 5s and this had some take 5 vibes. according to the packaging there's a caramel layer and "shortbread cookie bits". the cookie bits look like puffed rice. the shortbread is crunchy and the caramel adds a nice chewiness. there's a whole lot of textures going on in this lil bar.
• cost: $1.20
• rating: 🍥🍥🍥🍥/5 fishcakes
• final thoughts: I feel like I may be a little bit generous with this 4/5 fishcake rating, but I'm satisfied with this chocolate bar. it's on the smaller side of the chocolate bar family but the size is deceptive because it's very rich. it's like a simpler take 5 bar. tasty. if you purchase this I feel like you'll like it too.

smartfood popcorn: parmesan garlic flavor

hey

alright y'all here I am with this parmesan garlic smartfood popcorn. I don't know the ins and outs of smartfood as a company but I do think it's a little shady that the name of the product is "smartfood" when this snack is obviously not healthier than any other popcorn. I noticed that they had the calorie count in giant letters under the nutrition facts so maybe other people caught on and were also annoyed at them.

shady

but also, maybe that's on me as a consumer to not assume that a product is "healthy" because the word smart is in the name. advertising tactics really piss me off but whatever let's get to the review.

smartfood has a white cheddar popcorn that I LOVE and would consider worthy of the snack hall of fame. one of my favorite things in this world is cheese flavored powder. the white cheddar seasoning on that popcorn is so tasty and there's a good amount and the popcorn is really light and it is overall a great snack experience if you're a cheesy popcorn fan. I would even go as far to say that the smartfood white cheddar popcorn is tastier than the popcorn you get in those christmas tubs. with that in mind, I was intrigued at this new parmesan garlic flavor!

nice

• smell: strong cheese flavor upon first sniff. tangy. subtle garlic and peppery notes.
• texture: I was not disappointed by the texture of this popcorn, as it was exactly the same as the white cheddar variety. no kernels, light, a good crunch.
• cost: $1.69
• rating: 🍥 🍥 🍥🍥/5 fishcakes
• final thoughts: when I ate my first corn, I was pretty disappointed because I think I was expecting the same strong white cheddar flavor but it just wasn't there. I soldiered on and as I kept eating, I found myself going back for more popcorn. it takes a couple of handfuls to get the full flavor profile (lol) of this popcorn but oh my god it's really good. I read the ingredients and there's apparently some swiss powder which is tight and I think it really helps the parmesan nutty tangy cheese flavor shine. the garlic isn't overpowering, and the parmesan is so tasty and leaves a nice savory aftertaste. this feels like a fancier version of the white cheddar popcorn. I think that I still prefer the white cheddar flavor, but the parmesan garlic is also very good and I think I will find myself switching it up and buying this flavor sometimes. what can I say, variety is the spice of life (hehe). shout out to smartfood for expanding their popcorn flavors. if you're reading this, please send me popcorn or money. 

white reese's peanut butter cups

packaging!!!

I stopped by bucky's on my way home and wanted to pick up some kind of chocolate/candy situation. the aisle with the candy bars was facing the cashiers which made me feel self-conscious because I had already been browsing for so long so I grabbed the first thing that caught my eye -- these white reese's. in hindsight I wish I would have grabbed a take 5 but it's ok.

pretty melty

• smell: strong peanut butter smell.
• texture: I feel like these were a little bit oilier (is that a word?) than your average reese's. the white chocolate is pretty waxy at first bite, but when you start chewing and getting some of that crunchy pb action it melts together nicely.
• cost: ~$1.50
• rating: 🍥 🍥 🍥 /5 fishcakes
• final thoughts: these were ok! the white chocolate was a nice change of pace but I don't eat a lot of reese's pb cups so I think I would have been ok with just eating a normal one. the white chocolate wasn't quite as satisfying as normal milk chocolate, but the white chocolate flavor is pretty neutral so you get a more intense pb experience. I like white chocolate a lot but I think it's better on its own or in a cookies and cream bar. I'm not disappointed, but I don't know that I would purchase these again.

raising cane's honey mustard

glossy mustard surface

hey friends! I'm eating raising cane's for dinner and since we're such good friends I thought I'd let you in on a little secret... raising cane's has honey mustard!! from what I understand, they make it in house. it's not listed on the menu so you have to ask for it so it's like you're in a cool secret mustard club. B-)

honestly, though, whenever I order it the employee sounds kind of irritated so it's not really a *cool* secret mustard club, but it's a secret mustard club nonetheless. I love chicken strips but it really bums me out when I'm in the drive thru and the person running the window screams HEY HEY HEY WANT SOME CHICKEN TODAY??? or something to that effect at me. it's alienating and makes me feel bad.

I don't know if this counts as a snack? it's a condiment. I guess I don't care because it's my blog and I can post whatever I want. anyway here's my rating on this honey mustard

• smell: it smells so nice. it smells like honey and also bread.

  

  action shot

• texture: super runny/watery. I've never seen a honey mustard so thin!
• cost: it costs the same as whatever an extra side of cane's sauce would, so I think it's something like 50 cents. if you get a meal you can also replace the cane's sauce with the honey mustard.
• rating: 🍥 🍥 🍥 🍥  /5 fishcakes!
• final thoughts: man I love this honey mustard. I'll usually get cane's sauce too and dip my fries and toast in the cane's sauce, and save the honey mustard for the chicken strips. it's definitely a honey mustard, as the honey taste is predominant and the mustard taste is subtle. it's satisfying in the same way that maple syrup in chicken and waffles is. definitely some sweet/savory dynamics going on. I love dipping sauces and having several dipping sauce options is very important to me as a fast food consumer. I highly recommend it!